Troma's Kobayashi Maru

As some people may know I enjoy playing video games. However I am far from what might be called a "gamer". in the last year I have purchased two video games. However, I have recently taken a horrible job out of desperation that daily puts me in direct contact with the true "gamer". All the stereotypes are true. These kids are fat, lazy, unkempt, they don't shower, THEY STINK, and they are usually wearing their PJ's. They can be found just about anywhere where games and microwavable food are sold. They will most likely be boisterously comparing the pros and cons of the latest Zelda game and arguing over whether the Doom movie with "The Rock", or the 2000 Movie adaption of Dungeons and Dragons was better. They will use such words as: sick as in "dude this is sick!" or "is it sick? I heard it was sick." pwned as in "you just got pwned" and "i totally pwned those (insert politically incorrect noun here). If you are unfortunate enough to encounter these individuals in the real world there are certain things to remember. 1. They are frightened. Outside of whatever gaming environment where these individuals are vertual gods thanks to their idiot parents adn total lack of life, these individulas are about as dangerous as a soggy peice of tissue paper. And they know this. 2. Whatever you do don't engage them in conversation. If you ignore this advice you will undoubtably be drawn into a debate about which incarnation of Final fantasy was the best. No matter how much you try to say you don't care or you have never played it they simply won't understand. (Also, why the fuck is every single one called Final Fantasy if the fucking thing never actualy ends?) 3. If you are dragged into a conversation with these individuals it is usually a good idea to steer the conversation towards classic gaming. *This could save your life* Steer the conversation towards games like Mario Brothers 1 -3 and state quite clearly that you think one of them is the best. Have a reason ready, it doesn't really matter what it is. They will look at you with a begrudging kind of acceptance just because you even have an opinion. Be aware that they may try to trap you by talking about even more classic systems such as the Atari or the Kaliko Vision, simply say that you never had one but always wanted one. This would be a good opportunity to create an exit by suggesting that you are thinking about getting a new gaming console but can't decide between wither an XBOX 360, a Playstation 3, or a Wii. Ask which one they think is the best. This will create a great deal of disagreement among their pack giving you the opportunity to quietly slip away.

So this weekend is my parents 28th anniversary. Conrats to them, or my sympathies, I can never get it straight. But more important is that they apparently decided to pack up and leave the house for a weekend on the Cape before I even woke up today. What this means to me is that I can spend the day living my dream (acting like I live alone). i am currently sitting in my room listening to Luciano Pavarotti as loud as it will go. While some might think, wow thats pretty fucking lame, I say "fuck you, i live alone and I don't have to listen to you, so if I want to spend my day in my room listening to fucking Italian love songs belted out by a fat man who probably gets louds of poon, then thats what I'm gunna do."
-End Rant-